P sent a very caustic reply to my email via SMS. To the extent I think P sounded over the top. To which I replied "If you're angry, then so be it. If you're SO busy, then why sms me? And if you're not guilty, then why are you so worked up?" They say "Hell Hath No Fury Like A W***N Scorned". I realise this to be very true. Snippets of the message are enclosed.

Oh, and it didn't help that P didn't want to speak to me. Yes, she actually bent so LOW as to demand an apology from D. If you're so sincere and righteous, you bloody hell speak to me! It was me who wrote the letter anyway. Well, the sleeping bear has been woken and it's about time. I also mentioned that i addressed the email to "THE GRANDCHILDREN", and P justified by saying that a parent has the right to know. Fine, you know now how I truly feel. But don't forget to read carefully, I DID NOT MENTION NAMES! Also, P told D that the words P said were quoted. Since when did I mention names, excuse me? STABBING YOURSELF IN THE FOOT ISN'T EXACTLY THE BEST WAY TO GET OUT OF A SHITHOLE.

I was terribly disappointed when D actually apologised to her! The horror of horrors. To think that an internal (nei4) person apologising to someone external (wai4). Giving in to a person with "diva" tendencies isn't the best way to solve a problem, especially when you're not at fault.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO BE SO JUDGEAMENTAL?" (yes, the reply was in CAPS.)

I'm the eldest grandchild for goodness sake. And I did address the letter to the grandchildren ie my cousins. And judgeamental? Maybe only P thinks so (because obviously, someone feels guilty). I'm stating what i feel should be let out.

"I'M VERY ANGRY WITH YOU"

Why should you be ANGRY with me? Stop pointing fingers and blaming everyone else when you haven't noticed that speck in your eye. FYI, I'm not exactly happy with myself for being indifferent during Grandpa's struggle.

"DON'T SMS ME. WE'RE HAVING EXAMS."

You? EXAMS? Excuse me, your children are taking exams, not you. And for goodness sake, cut the crap about not being able to study well and the like just because of a letter like this. EXAMS are meant to be prepared way before they come. They are meant to be prepared while you do your assignments and during lesson time. Revisions are just to "refresh" your memory. Mugging at the last minute won't really help much. Trust me, I've been there.

And have you forgotten that I was having my Prelims when Grandpa was dying? And it's prelims for A LEVELS. My maternal grandpa was also dying during my A LEVELS! But I'm still through with it and I've got my SCHOLARSHIP and my place in UNIVERSITY! so CUT THE CRAP.

And btw, if you're so busy? WHY THE HELL DO YOU SMS ME? Contradicting yourself doesn't help you get out of the shithole.

"BECAUSE OF YOU, MANY FAMILIES ARE GOING TO HAVE QUARRELS TONIGHT."

If your family is that DYSFUNCTIONAL, well, i feel so sorry for you. My family was basically having more of a crying and reflection session rather than a quarrel. Hug, Kiss, Make-up.

There might be quarrels for you because you're angry! So don't blame me for your anger. You CHOSE to be angry. SO BE IT.





So, to prevent further misunderstanding, i wrote another email meant for EVERYONE in the family. The sentences in brackets are my comments on the point.


The 2nd Letter

After the responses to my previous message, I would like to remind everyone that it was addressed to "The Grandchildren from the Ong Family". (So I'm not being disrespectful, excuse me! So don't say things like "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?" cos I'm still the ELDEST grandchild for goodness sake.)

The bottomline of me sending out this seemingly shocking letter is to remind my cousins that we should not just take a backseat when there are such important family issues at hand. (As we have always been doing... Zzz...)

And we should not always expect our parents to be the ones who take the responsibility to remember that we need to visit Grandma. (Cos some of them can be quite "forgetful", but we can't blame them, age is indeed catching up. =P) Instead, (as mentioned in my earlier letter) we should be more proactive and assume the responsibility too. (Hello? 3 of us are already above 12! I'm already hitting adulthood in 1 year! SHEESH!)

I understand that some of the children are taking exams. I sincerely apologise if any of the children or parents are perturbed by my message. (But I definitely do not apologise for the letter i wrote previously. But then again, mugging is only effective to a small extent. Studying consistently is much more effective. =D)

Please do understand that I, as the eldest grandchild, feel the great sense of responsibility to pass on what I feel is required to be done. (DUH!) I cannot afford to take the backseat anymore. I've already seen so many things happening for the past 20 years and in addition, I also do have some knowledge of the family being indifferent to Grandpa because of his infidelity before I was born. I do not want to live to regret my indifference to such important family issues as I'm regretting my indifference during the period of Grandpa's struggle. (I'm basically sick and tired of watching things just happen without the adults intervening sensibly or sitting down to discuss the matter seriously.)

If any of you think that I'm judgemental, please don't get me wrong. I'm only stating what is from my heart. Also, please do not start squabbling within yourselves or with me over this. (If you do... well... *shakes head*) I only have Grandma's interests at heart. Because of her long suffering all her life in raising her children, she deserves much more concern beyond what we have given to Grandpa.

Regards,
Kenny.


Conclusion? I'm freaking sick and tired of everyone just pointing fingers at each other and not sitting down together to talk. I mean, when was the last time the whole family were all together at the same place, inclusive of grandchildren?!

Sometimes, I just thank God for making me an only child. No sibling rivalries and also, I automatically assume the title to caregiver when my parents grow old. NO QUESTIONS ASKED AND NO FINGER-POINTING.

If there's anybody worthy of sympathy, that would be my Grandma.